The Race

Well, if you check your calendar, you’ll see today is June 7th (or maybe even June 8th by the time I finish this massive post). That of course means I am officially a marathon finisher. They say less than 1% of the population will ever run a marathon in their lives, and I am very proud to be part of that elite group. It was NOT easy getting there – the race itself was the most horrible physical thing I’ve ever had to endure – but it was all worth it. Here’s how race weekend went down:

The Inspiration Dinner

Saturday at 4:30 we had the big pasta party. I didn't know this was going to happen, but all the coaches from around the country were lined up on either side of the entrance to the event room and there was music and balloons and decorations and the coaches were cheering. It was like being in a parade of athletes, and it was one of the coolest moments of the weekend for sure. All the Team in Training participants gathered in a big event room at the hotel to carbo load and hear some inspirational speeches, one of which was from TNT New York’s very own coach Christy! They also gave out awards and recognition to the top fundraisers, and the person at #1 was New York’s own Jackie – this girl raised over $50,000 for this race. Yes, you read that correctly – FIFTY GRAND. She is just amazing.

After we were sufficiently full of pasta and garlic bread, we headed to a NY-only meeting to do some final prep for race day. Coaches gave last minute advice, we reviewed the logistics, and then our coordinator announced that they were going to do some final mission moments. I wasn’t anticipating the mission moment part, I just assumed we were done with that. One of my teammates, Kevin, got up first and spoke about his reasons for running with the team. His father died of a blood cancer, and he walked us through his experience from the diagnosis right up until his dad lost the battle against the disease, and he ended his speech in tears. It was powerful hearing him speak. All season long, our coordinator had been asking me to present my connection to the cause as a mission moment before one of our practices, but I just couldn’t do it. I knew it would be too emotional and I would cry and I didn’t want to cry in front of this big group of people. But, watching Kevin have the courage to get up there and let it all out to inspire others, I decided I could do it too. One or 2 other people spoke, and then I raised my hand to speak. I warned everyone that I was going to cry throughout the entire thing (which I did) and then I stood up and told my story, focusing on my special connection with Grandpa and how he has inspired me to lose my mind and run 26.2 miles. There was a lot more to the speech, and it was incredibly emotional, but it actually felt really great to get it out there. And as for being afraid of crying in front of other people, half the room was in tears when I was done, so it was okay.

At the end of the meeting, mentor J got up to give out the Spirit Cape for the last time. Throughout the season, before every Saturday run, J would present the Spirit Cape to someone who showed great TNT spirit, or held a particularly successful fundraising event, or otherwise had a great week related to TNT. That person would take the cape home (the “cape” by the way is a long sleeve white t-shirt), and add a form of decoration to it. People put race numbers, pins, bedazzled jewels, a medal, words of inspiration, etc. It’s actually a pretty awesome honor to get the cape for a week. So, since this was the last moment before the race, whoever got the cape on Saturday would take it home to keep. J got up and he said that he was going to present the Spirit Cape to Jackie, for having kicked so much fundraising ass. Then he said “But, and I think Jackie will agree with this decision, I’d like to give the cape to Rachel, and Rachel I’d like you to give this to your grandfather .” And at that point of course the tears just started flowing. It was the nicest, most unexpected gesture. J hugged me and gave me the cape and everyone was cheering, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. That kind of support and camaraderie and love and understanding is exactly why I do TNT. That was absolutely the highlight of my TNT season. A bunch of people came up to me after the meeting was over for hugs and words of support and to sign the Spirit Cape, and that just made it even more special.

The Race

I didn’t sleep at all Saturday night. We decorated our singlets for about a half hour after the meeting ended, and then Audrey and I were in bed by 9:30. I laid in bed all night trying to sleep, and it just didn’t happen. The alarms went off at 3am and we were up and getting ready to go! We gooped up in many layers of SPF 50 sweatproof sunscreen and anxiously got into our race outfits and packed our bags. The NY team had to be in the hotel lobby at 4am, because that’s when the shuttle bus was supposed to take us to the start line. We gathered inside, and then we moved outside because there were too many of us. We took pictures, we tied bows in our hair (the girls, mostly), we wrote our names on our arms with permanent marker so crowds could cheer for us by name, and we just kind of hung out. There was lots of talk about who had or hadn’t pooped yet – and trust me when I tell you that’s a crucial part of race morning. You really get to know people intimately throughout this process so this conversation felt oddly normal. The buses didn’t get there until after 5am, so we had a lot of time to hang out. The mood was excited and optimistic, and actually I could’ve stayed there all day and had a blast with my teammates. But we had a race to run!

I had a very bad race. I was expected to finish between 4:48 and 5:00, and I finished nowhere near that time. What went wrong, you might ask? Let’s start with the weather. I know, southern California in June is going to be hot. However there is this phenomenon called “the marine layer”, whereby San Diego is covered in cloud and fog until about 10am every day. Also, the couple days before the race had been quite cloudy with just patches of intense sunshine, and it had been cool enough to the point where people were buying cardigans to wear. Plus, the race started at 6:15am, and it’s never hot that early in the morning. Given that, we thought “Oh! It won’t be that bad!”. We, of course, are idiots. The marine layer burned off prior to 9am on race day and there was NO shade on that course after about mile 4. It was hot hot hot and beyond sunny. Think about a day at the beach – you spend maybe 3 or 4 hours in the sun and you’re tired and drained afterward and probably need a nap. Imagine running that entire time with no shade and no ocean to cool off in. Yeah, not cool.

Then there was the course. I don’t know what is wrong with these people, but putting a 3.5 mile hill along a marathon is just not nice. The hill was incredibly gentle on the incline, but god over 3 miles of ANY incline will make you want to vomit. A huge chunk of the run was on the highway, and the highways in San Diego are slanted. Yes, SLANTED, meaning the road physically slopes downward toward the shoulder. It wasn’t like a 1 or 2 degree difference either – you were forced to run lopsided, and it felt like running uphill the entire time because you were almost trying to square off your body so you didn’t have to run crooked. The spectators were weak, because obviously it’s not practical to have spectators along the side of the goddamn highway, and the race started at the crack of dawn so not many people were up and out for it. Spectators are so crucial – at around mile 13 some girls had made a long banner that said “Rock N Roll Runners!” and they held it out in front of me and told me to run through it. I don’t know why they picked me out of the crowd, but it was amazing and it totally picked me up. I could've used a little more of that.

Then there were the bands… the bands were not good. And I mean NOT good. There was an organ playing “Climb Every Mountain” around mile 3, and that was amazing. But after that, the bands were pretty bad local ‘talent’ singing off key to cover songs. There were maybe 10 bands total (so not every mile), the stages were small, and the music wasn’t loud enough to carry more than 20 steps or so beyond the stage so it didn’t help too much as far as distracting you from the pain.

I had 9 gus on me, because you’re supposed to eat them every half hour to 45 minutes and I wanted to be prepared. I got through 5 gus and then physically could not get them in my mouth after that. Also they had Cytomax instead of Gatorade, which I think I mentioned before, and after drinking Cytomax for 16 miles you just want to die. They pride themselves on not having much sodium in their drink – ummmm guess what you frigging need during an endurance event? SODIUM. I ate a salt pack at the beginning of the race and had a little more salt half way through, but man I could’ve used some Gatorade. The Cytomax was too sweet and that paired with the gu, after mile 17 I was like forget it, I can’t put another thing in my mouth or I’ll vomit. I actually had a really decent first half of the race – we held back and took it really slowly, trying to respect the heat, the sun, and the distance, and then mile 17 was my doom. My body just ate it – the sun was draining everything out of me, and it was so intense I would dump water on my head and my hair was dry by the next mile marker. I had so much pain in my IT bands and my quads and my butt it was almost unbearable. I had to slow WAY down to compensate for all that, and at that point I knew I was nowhere near a 4:48 marathon. I was basically shuffling from that point on – you can barely classify it as ‘running’.

And then there was Fiesta Island for miles 20-25… There isn’t enough room here for me to tell you how AWFUL fiesta island is. When I see a name like Fiesta Island, I envision a party on an island. We thought lots of balloons, bands, spectators, and general merriment. We could not have been more wrong. This fiesta island, as it turns out, is a barren LANDFILL. A LANDFILL?! Are you KIDDING me?! And there was not 1 tree on this island of hell - I kid you not, it felt like running through the desert. We’re calling it Shutter Island – it was just that bad. There was 1 band on the entire island (which is 5+ miles in circumference) and no spectators. It was unbearable. Thank god the coaches were staggered throughout that part of the race. Coach Pam ran me onto the island and got me to the first water stop, and she kept insisting I looked like I was doing great. I think she was just being nice. I shuffled by myself for awhile and caught coach Steve. Poor, poor Steve. I grabbed that man’s hand harder than I think I’ve gripped anything in my entire life. I told him I was in so much pain, and how I wanted to rip my sports bra off at that point because it felt like it was closing in on my rib cage and lungs. As a man he obviously couldn’t relate but he laughed and told me to stay focused and we’d get through it. I shuffled along with Steve and then he had to head back to get the next NY TNT people behind me, and then I shuffled with coach Peter for just a minute, because he had to get someone behind me who was struggling. So I shuffled more by myself, literally cursing in my head with every step, keeping my head down so as not to expose my sunburnt face to any more of the harsh sun, when I heard “Oh my god, Rachel?!” and it was Tippi, my NY TNT teammate! Her sweet southern accent sounded like music to my ears at that point. A few shuffled steps later, coach Jason came to run with us for a bit around mile 24. He was conversing with Tippi and I was just silent – at that point I literally couldn’t figure out how to put together a sentence. They call it “brain melt” - my brain just ceased to function. He reminded us of form, hydration, made sure we were eating, asked about pain, and it was all I could do to muster a thumbs up for him. He reluctantly had to get people behind me, so he sent us on.

One more water station and then, like a mirage in the middle of a desert, there appeared Michael Conlon, our head coach. I literally screamed “OH MY GOD MICHAEL CONLON!!!!”. I had never been so happy to see that man in my entire life. He was in a great mood, too – meanwhile I literally thought I was going to die. He was saying I looked good, and to just keep moving like I was moving, and then he got me some water and dumped it on my head and down my back, he held my hand for awhile, he told me my Grandpa would be proud, and then when we ran through mile 25 I was around a part of the island where I could actually see the finish on the mainland. He rubbed my head a little and then told me to finish strong, that he had to head back for other people but that coach Parks was up ahead right at the end of the island. I have never wanted to get off an island so badly in my entire life. I saw coach Parks right at the part that bridges the island to the land, and he said “Oh you’re lookin great, you don’t need my help, head on strong to the finish line baby!” and in my brain I was like “OH MY GOD COACH PARKS NOOOOOOO!” but all that would come out of my mouth was “Ok I got it.” Um, “OK I got it”? I so did not have it. I was in so much pain and wanted to stop and lie down so badly and never do this ever again. But, somehow I kept running.

The Finish
There were finally a ton of people for that last half mile or so. And for those final 30 seconds, I was completely overwhelmed. I let the tears flow, threw my arms up, and finally crossed that finish line. I can’t believe I survived 26.2 frigging miles. I now completely understand why the first guy who ever ran that distance died at the end of it. That race is no joke. And I am so glad it’s over. A few steps after the finish I put my hands on my knees and just cried for about 30 seconds out of relief, joy, pride, pain, exhaustion, confusion, and just about every emotion you can experience. A girl wearing a TNT jersey had just finished and she came up to me and said “I don’t know you, but I get it,” and she hugged me and cried with me too. I don’t know her name, but I’ll never forget that moment as long as I live.

I got my medal, took my official picture (which I’m sure looks amazingly attractive…), then checked in with TNT before realizing that the baggage trucks were alllllllllllllllllll the way back on the other side of the finish line. I almost lost it. Seriously, I just couldn’t fathom walking 20 minutes at that point. It was horrible. I got my bag, grimacing with EVERY step, and went back to the TNT tent to drink my low fat chocolate milk. I changed my bra and shirt right out in the open in front of everyone because I seriously just couldn’t wear that goddamn sports bra anymore, and I sat and thought about what I had just done. Tears just kept flowing every time I thought about how hard that race was and how glad I was that it was over.

The Victory Party

After suffering through 26.2 miles all I wanted to do was lay down. Audrey and I took the shuttle back to the hotel, tried to beg the concierge to bring us up bags of ice (they declined – and I’d like to extend a large F-YOU to the Hilton San Diego Bayfront for that), slugged down the hall together to raid the ice machine, and took our ice baths and showers. Just a couple hours later was the victory party – most of the girls had planned to wear cute sundresses, and I had several cute outfits packed for it. The outfit I ended up deciding on? A longsleeve shirt with a hood, leggings, and sneakers. The portrait of both style and grace, of course.

My first move at the party –the bar of course! I loaded up with 2 stellas and those first few sips were amazing. My 2nd move at the party was to locate the coaches and give them BIG hugs around the next for getting me through those last 6 miles!!! And I checked to make sure Steve’s hand was intact :) Then I thought/assumed I would be starving, so I grabbed 2 cup thingies of mashed potatoes, but I only ate one of them and was really full. I have no idea why. We spent the next couple hours discussing the hellish course and celebrating our survival, and then we hit the dance floor. Oh yes, we danced after running 26.2 miles. I can’t explain it, because walking was still on the painful side, but dancing felt amazing! The coaches were out there shakin it with us, and we were just so happy and giddy to be done with the race, I think Gloria Estefan was right – eventually the rhythm IS going to get you… That, or after abstaining from booze for 3 weeks, and running 26.2 miles, your tolerance is really low so 2 beers gets you buzzed! Either way, it was good times. The NY team was clearly the largest team there, taking up a good chunk of the dance floor, and when they played Empire State of Mind we all went crazy. It was so much fun.

We had a NY-only after party at Dicks Last Resort for a few more drinks and more celebration, and then collapsing into that bed at the end of the night felt like heaven on earth. Today, I’m sore but I’m not completely dead, which is both surprising and delightful! I’m not walking 100% normal, and I need a little assistance from my arms to stand up and sit down, but overall not terrible. I feel like I ran a marathon, but not like I got run over by a truck.

Immediately at the end of the race, I kept saying “I’ll never do this again. NEVER ever again. I’ll do half marathons for the rest of my life but will never do a full again. Never ever. NEVER.” But then you know, this morning on the flight home to NY I was thinking about how it would go differently next time. Part of me was like “NEXT TIME?! I thought we agreed we were never doing this again!” and the other part of me knows I have it in me to do this again if I want to. I will never do San Diego again, but another marathon in general... They say it’s like childbirth, where you forget how painful it is. So, I take back the “I’ll never do it again”, because this TNT season was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. The people I met, the amazing charity, the sense of accomplishment on a weekly basis, pushing my boundaries, having a support group, doing things I never thought I could do – all of that adds up to an amazing amazing experience and I am so grateful for it. I don’t know what life after TNT looks like at the moment, but all possibilities are open :)

Thank you a thousand times over to my amazing supporters. The final tally is $4151 that we raised for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. The New York team is just shy of 1 million dollars raised during just this season. Do you know how insane that is? The entire nation of Team in Training teams raised just over 12 million dollars for this marathon – so New York, just one city, raised 1/12 of that. We are so badass. None of us could’ve made it one step without you all, so sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart.

And most importantly, to my Grandpa: thank you for being my inspiration. You are the most amazing grandfather a girl could ask for. I am honored and proud to run for you. Now let’s beat that cancer :)

National Running Day!!

Hey everyone!!

Today is National Running Day!! http://www.runningday.org/events/index.php Lace up those sneaks and pound the pavement!! No excuses, make the time and get out there. Running has so many amazing benefits for mind, body, and soul. You burn 100 calories for every mile you run, it improves cardio vascular health and overall fitness, it tones your legs, it gives you some peaceful alone time, it gets you outside (away from those stuffy office buildings!), it teaches you discipline, it teaches you perseverance, and it gives you the best mental clarity you'll ever experience. It's cheaper than the gym, you can do it just about anywhere, and it feels so awesome.

A lot of people will tell you running will destroy your joints - more often than not, these people are non-runners. It sounds like another excuse to me. And, Stanford University actually just conducted a 21 year study that found that runners' knees were no more or less healthy than non-runners' knees. The study also found that runners experienced less physical disability and had a 39% lower mortality rate than the nonrunners. You can read more here: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1948208,00.html But do it after you get today's run in!!

Some people think they can't run - FALSE! Everyone can run. Most beginners are running too fast, so they can't sustain the pace and they're discouraged by their labored breathing. It may sound obvious, but SLOW DOWN! Run at a pace where you can carry on a conversation. You'll be surprised at how long you can run at that pace :) And remember it's not a race, it's something you're doing for yourself, so get out there and run happy!!

In other news, I leave for San Diego TOMORROW. I'm running a marathon in 4 DAYS!! The cold is subsiding (thank god) and I'm feeling excited and nervous and excited again!

Countdown to San Diego: 4 days
Current Status: Running happy!